The Early Struggle to Belong

From as far back as I can remember, identity was something I wrestled with. I was always trying to shape-shift—molding myself to fit in with every crowd, trying to earn my family’s approval, all while grasping to stay relatable to those around me.

But no matter how many versions of myself I tried on, I never seemed to please everyone. That’s a tough lesson to internalize as a child. And so, very early on, I started to feel lost—unsure of who I truly was or who I wanted to be.

I was multi-passionate, pulled in a million directions, dreaming of being and doing everything. But like most children, more than anything, I just wanted to fit in. To be accepted. To feel like I belonged. And somewhere in the pursuit of belonging, I began creating versions of myself that weren’t quite true.

Wearing Masks to Survive

As life went on, so did the act. I kept putting on new masks—new personas that I thought might finally help me “click” with the world around me. But when I entered my twenties, something shifted.

The act no longer fit.

At this time, I was in the middle of what felt like an identity crisis. We had just moved to Jupiter, Florida—a place that quietly felt like home—and began attending therapy four times a week with three different therapists. I threw myself into the work. Not just the surface-level stuff, but the deep, gritty, internal excavation.

And slowly, I began to outgrow everything.

Friends. Family. Familiar habits. Even the things I once loved began to feel foreign. It wasn’t just people I was outgrowing—it was past versions of myself. That process was painful and awkward, like being in the middle of a rebirth but stuck halfway through.

Yes, I know that sounds a bit graphic, but imagine it: suspended between who you were and who you’re becoming. It’s uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and deeply transformative.

Releasing the Past with Grace

As I kept doing the inner work, something surprising happened—I stopped regretting.

I stopped regretting the choices I made, the friendships I lost, the relationships that didn’t last. Every mistake, every misstep, every chapter that ended… they all became bricks in the foundation of who I am today.

Sometimes I wonder—what if I had stayed where I was? In the same city, same schools, around the same people? Would I have grown? Would I be living this version of my dream life?

I don’t think so.

Those past experiences shaped me. They built me. And for that, I hold no resentment. Just gratitude.

Choosing Authenticity Over Appearance

One of the most radical shifts I’ve made is learning how to simply be myself. No masks, filters, or performative personas. Just me, showing up in the world with honesty and openness.

This clarity is one of the main reasons I quit social media. Because let’s be real—social media is largely a curated illusion. It’s a highlight reel, a digital mask. You only see what people want you to see. And I started asking myself: Who am I when I’m not being watched?

I once had a friend who looked like she had it all together online—big smiles, glowing photos, uplifting captions. But behind the screen, she was crying nightly, calling me and others in pain, unraveling under the weight of her reality.

That experience taught me something powerful: People are not always who they seem to be. And I no longer want to contribute to that illusion. I’d rather be real—even if that means being misunderstood or unseen.

A Gentle Invitation to Begin Again

This post isn’t about perfection. This isn’t about judging others or even my past self. It’s about honoring the messiness of growth. It’s about accepting that transformation is often painful, awkward, nonlinear—and absolutely worth it.

So here’s what I want you to know, especially if you’re reading this while feeling lost or in transition:

It’s okay to start over.
It is okay to make mistakes and course-correct.
Your are safe to release identities that no longer fit.

You don’t have to go back and relive the past to make peace with it. Sometimes healing just means choosing something different today. And tomorrow. And the next day.

So wherever you are in your journey—whether you’re just beginning or deep in the thick of rediscovery—give yourself permission to change. To evolve, outgrow, and come home to yourself.

You deserve to live a life that aligns with who you really are—not who the world told you to be.